Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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