I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize