I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
two words...techno handjob
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
