I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize