I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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