So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
