I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
