and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
