they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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