Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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