all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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