okay pat passed out under dana's car
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize