Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
