Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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