Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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