i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
