I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
