Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
