jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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