my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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