Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
