i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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