I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Oh god it's open bar.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
