I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
