He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
