no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
