I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
vagina is talking i cant
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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