I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
