Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
