Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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