He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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