This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
