i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
