please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
BRING THE BAGELS
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize