I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Randomize
