i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
YAS. BRING CRAB.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
