Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
