Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
