I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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