Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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