I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
