he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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