i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
