It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
