he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
