Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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