guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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