if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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