My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You're like the curious george of whores
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
