She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
