The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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