If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
