My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
