I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
There r osticjed everywhere
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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