Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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