Yo dont text me then not text me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
