i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no, he came in my armpit
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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