That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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