He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize