You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Two words: blizzard sex
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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