If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My vagina is officially offended.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
