Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
