I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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