like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My life is pants optional.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
