my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just made my gag reflex go away.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
